My Soul Was on the Line
Updated: Aug 7, 2019
I know you are probably confused, like what? How can someone's soul be on the line?
About a month ago, I looked up and realized that my spirit being was completely depleted. I was under a spiritual attack. I immediately thought “I DON’T FEEL LIKE FIGHTING.” I was being attacked from all angles, different people and from every direction, the opposition was stronger than I had ever experienced.
What I didn't know was how to handle it, so I did what I thought was best. I walked away from everything, hoping that this would allow me to think and regain some strength. But, BOY was I wrong!!! I did exactly what the enemy wanted me to do which was to isolate myself so that he can have the victory over my life. What he didn't know was, people were praying and interceding on my behalf.
I was stuck in my mind, nothing or no one could convince me that where I was indicated that my soul was on the line. My arrogance, anger and pride had all joined forces and put me in a dangerous situation of questioning my faith. Funny, HUH!!! How could I have a book about all the great things that God had done for me, just to end up feeling like everything that I believed in was a lie.
God Isn’t Real?
I think God loves me? Or Does He?
What is my Purpose? This is a waste of my time...
Completely DELUSIONAL! At this point, I realized that I was in a hell of bad spot and if I didn’t change or fight it could have been detrimental to soul. So I began praying, speaking life to my spirit man, declaring God’s word over my life and essentially asking him for forgiveness.
I fought y’all!
Slowly pieces of my spirit being began to feel alive. I added people back to my life, did more activities and even made the decision to go back to church.
During that season of feeling defeated, exhausted and spiritually dead, there were five lessons that I learned and will never forget:
1.) Prayer/Reading God’s Word, sounds CLICHÉ’ but once I became consistent with my prayer life, the enemy’s attacks started feel like baby taps. He didn’t won’t none of me once I figured out how to use my weapon (Bible).
2.) Spiritual Women/A Circle of Women (Wisdom), there are 3 women who decided to love me back to life (with no stipulations) and each of them prayed with me, for me as well as reminded me of who God called me to be.
3.) Created boundaries-I love HARD, so my instinct is to jump head first and give any relationship and or project everything I have, not realizing that at some point it should be reciprocated-I am now learning to protect my mind, heart and soul as it relates to who I allow in my space.
4.) Allowed myself to rest-I was running on EMPTY, ever tried driving a car with no gas, hmph it isn’t gone go nowhere and that was me. Working, Giving and Producing but was not allowing myself to rest thus allowing myself to run on fumes hence my vulnerability to the attacks of the enemy. SELF CARE IS IMPORTANT!
5.) Positive Affirmations, just because I felt better didn’t mean that the war was over. I have to speak positive affirmations over my life daily to remind myself of who and whose I am.
Hopefully, you learned something from reading my blog. Many of us go through seasons of warfare, don’t dwell on being in that place-just use the tools that are already inside of you to help you fight. We know that with God we can’t fail, it’s when we forget and abandon him that we are defeated. My soul was on the line and I had to reclaim it because the enemy thought he won.
“Be alert and of Sober Mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout out the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” –Peter 5:8-9
I love you guys, thanks for reading!